The Man Who Would Be Captain

 

I tried to remember what the good sailing book said about sailing in front of the wind, specifically about stopping. Then it dawned on me that all I have to do is reverse what I had just done at the beachhead we almost assaulted. Now I felt good and assured my wife that all is under control. We sailed to the boat ramp and the wind picked up a little more. No problem I just have to time my departure from the boat into the water and walk it up the ramp. My wife didn’t look as confident in my plan as I thought she should. I swear I noticed the same people who had witnessed out earlier escapades gathering at the boat ramp. Couldn’t be. Based on my mental calculations of how far off shore we were when we began to hit bottom and become entangled in that damn swimming boundary I was ready to nonchalantly depart the boat over the transom and stop her before the centerboard even hits the bottom. We were now moving at a pretty good speed and my wife looked more and more apprehensive. I told her I had everything under control and as we approached the 50-foot mark out from the ramp I went over the transom.

 

The error in my mental calculation was that where as a beach may have a gradual sloping bottom a boat ramp is quite a bit steeper so as to be able to launch boats with a deep draft. At the beachhead the water was 3 feet deep 50 feet out from shore. At the boat ramp the water was appreciably over my head only 25 feet out from shore. So here we are coming into the ramp when 50 feet out I disappear over the transom. My wife said she only saw my fingertips gripping the transom as I was towed the final 50 feet to my boats loud grounding on the ramp. To add insult to injury the rudder kicked up as it hit bottom and deposited itself into my groin. Now I couldn’t even stand up and try to make the best of a very, very embarrassing situation. I eventually was able to breath again and slowly stand in knee deep water. To anyone within earshot, which was quite a few people, I offered my boat for sale for twenty-five cents. There were no takers. Looks like I can now be called Captain; for all the wrong reasons.