The Pulitzer Prize Winner’s Dead Cat

As a professional P.M., I am often privy to the most intimate of dinner conversations between theHampton’s literary folk and I can happily inform your readers that these stars of Broadway and Guild Hall, only talk about one topic, namely, their teeth. All they do is complain about their failed root canals.

Now I want to ask you Dan a question. You have made a career of satire; dissecting and publicizing the indiscretions of these people. Do you really think they are any different than you or I? Are they happier or do they have a longer life expectancy? Having witnessed the days-in and nights-out, I can tell you they are mere flesh and blood. They may own larger houses,  be driven in bigger cars, and escort bejeweled wives and mistresses to every art gallery or new restaurant opening, but at the end of the day, they still shit and fuck like the most distinguished of English gentleman.